Why do vampires always look so pale? We mean, would it kill them to get a little sunlight? Wait a minute...forget we asked that. We suppose that vampires’ alabaster complexions do give them a certain charm. We hope so at least -- we’ve been turned nearly translucent by a long Midwest winter at the time of writing this ourselves. Direct sunlight at this point would probably turn us into ashes too!

It takes a lot to pull off the vampire look. You have to wake up at the crack of dusk to practice your “blahs.” You have to shave your head so bats don’t get stuck in your hair, which we understand they’re known to do constantly. And you absolutely can’t do without our high quality black and white makeup, handily packaged together in this indispensable kit. Go ahead, try it out. You can fang us later.